By William Jackson
READER COMMENTARY

As a divorced father, I questioned how can I move on with my life, amplify my spirituality as a Christian man, and still be in my children’s lives being a positive force, a role model, and support mechanism. To achieve this, I understand that I need to be a highly involved father.

Research has shown that being an involved father can be a big source of healing for a man and children. Men need to re-bond with their kids to keep them motivated in fathering. This Father’s Day, instead of focusing on you, refocus on the responsibilities of being a father, a man, a role model – renewing and recharging the commitment and covenant you have with your children.

Responsibilities to kids

Children are a blessing from God (Psalm 127:3). Thus, fathers have a responsibility to be a part of their children’s lives and accept them as blessings. Children are not commodities to be traded, fought over, or bargained for. Their wellbeing should be placed first during time of upheaval and emotional stress.

Fathers aid children’s growth in dynamic ways. A divorced father may not physically be in the home, but the teachings, modeling and prayers are present in children’s lives.

As stated in Ephesians 6:4, "Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." The first responsibility that fathers must continue is to teach sons is to be respectful in order to get respect; the importance of education to obtain a career and provide for oneself and family; and putting God first in all they do.

Daughters should be taught to be independent thinkers and aspire to be self-supportive, not being reliant on any man to provide for them. Fathers must teach their little girls that they are empowered with dreams and aspirations to be successful and can achieve greatness.

God first

Fathers set the foundation on which daughters will look for in a mate. Just as sons, fathers must teach daughters who will be mothers one day to put God first in their lives and seek Godly men – not men who follow the latest trends in fashions, cars and other material things. Daughters will seek a man similar to their father’s actions, demeanor and emotional state – even if it is self-destructive at times.

John 10:30 says, "I and my Father are one." Jesus makes this statement as a testimony to his Father. The same holds true for fathers and their children; you are one in many ways with your children. Some of these ways are visually evident, and some ways will manifest themselves as your child matures into adulthood.

In Proverbs 4:1-27, there is discussion of wisdom and gaining it through life experiences and reading of the Word. Fathers must share wisdom so children will not make the same mistakes as parents have. Real fathers guide their children, helping them to "deviate from the possible path of the wicked, and not go in the way of evil men," according to Proverbs 4:14.

This Father’s Day and beyond, be the father your father may not have been to you. Be the dad that your children can be proud of and seek for guidance. This is your day to be recognized and no one can take that from you.

Not easy

Divorce is not the end of fatherhood. It’s a new beginning and an opportunity to grow, but with the proper guidance of God’s help. Starting over is not easy, but the path can be peaceful, comforting and less challenging if we recognize the Heavenly Father first and continue to do the right thing by Him and children.

Sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing. Sometimes doing the right thing is not the popular thing. Sometimes doing the right thing will put us against what other people say. But at the end of the day, what will our children and God say about you doing the right thing?

God bless divorced fathers! They are still fathers and dads in children’s lives. Divorced fathers must stay involved and in prayer for wisdom and guidance.

William Jackson, M. Ed. is an instructor at Edward Waters College, Jacksonville. Contact him at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .