BY STARLA VAUGHNS CHERIN
FLORIDA COURIER

Cyndi Barriero often thought of killing herself. Once, it took her three hours to convince herself not to do it. “There was a period in my life when it became a hobby, finding ways to do it. But it wasn’t a game; I was serious,” she told the Florida Courier.

Barriero isn’t alone. The National Alliance on Mental Illness found that four percent of Black Americans, or 1.4 million people, may have attempted suicide. According to a 2001-2003 study, Black American women represented the second highest rate of attempted suicide.

Black American women also were more likely to attempt suicide than Black American men. When lead researcher Sean Joe of Michigan State University distinguished the diverse subgroups within the Black community, results showed an alarming 7.5 percent of Black men of Caribbean descent had attempted suicide.

Like ‘wet clothes’ Barriero says her deep depression stemmed from trauma she experienced when the family home in the Virgin Islands was burglarized and she was raped at age 13. Afterward, no one talked about it. Counseling wasn’t even a thought. Barriero is able to talk about how she felt then and now because she sought therapy.

“Going to therapy was not a thing we did, nor any Black person that I know of, especially not in the islands,” she said. “No one talked about it. We just sucked it up and moved on.

“I’ve been clinically depressed most of my life; I only know that by looking back. It began as a problem that wasn’t addressed. If you have lived through depression for so long, it becomes normal. You can’t say how you were before. Having depression for me was like wearing wet clothes. Wherever I was, my clothes were still wet. It wasn’t the environment I was in – it was me.”

Harvard Medical School professor and psychiatrist Dr. Alvin Poussaint, during an interview with Tavis Smiley, discussed his new book “Lay My Burden Down,” co-written with Amy Alexander and talked about the reasons Blacks are reluctant to seek help for depression.

Supermen, superwomen “Black people have historically thought of themselves as strong because they endured slavery, Jim Crow second-class citizenship, overt and covert racism, unemployment and underemployment, etc. (Depression) is looked at as being normal, the type of despair you cope with being African-Americans.”

Those suffering from depression, emotional and mental disorders may not be aware of it or will try to hide it. The symptoms show up in self-destructive behaviors like drugs, drinking, irresponsible sex, hyperirritability, chronic fatigue, overeating, loss of appetite and interests, anger and being “superman or superwoman.’’

Additional barriers to seeking therapy include poverty, lack of health care service and supports, pervasive stigma and prejudice, language barriers, and lack of cultural competence in service delivery. According to Poussaint, only 2.3 percent of all psychiatrists in America are African-American, and that Blacks are often suspicious of the institutional care they will receive.

Profiled on PBS The fear of seeking mental health help is the subject of a 90-minute PBS film titled “Depression: Out of the Shadows,’’ scheduled to air May 21. Among those profiled are Terrie Williams, an African-American woman who runs a successful public relations and consulting firm and DaShaun “Jiwe” Morris, an African-American man who has been a member of the Bloods street gang since age 11.

Williams says that while the social stigma surrounding depression exists in all segments of the population, it is even stronger among Blacks, who, as a result, are less likely to seek treatment. She has written about her experience and African-Americans’ resistance to discussing mental illness in her fourth book titled “Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We’re Not Hurting.”

‘Silently suffering’

“Many of us would rather tell somebody that we have a relative in jail or on drugs before we will ever think about or utter mental illness,” says Williams.

“During slavery you could not show emotion or you would get sold off from your loved ones,” Williams says. “The reason I decided to speak out was because I see too many who are needlessly and silently suffering.

“Depression is at the root of so many things in our community… including the violence we see in every age group, because so many of us are in pain and are not handling it well. By not speaking about it, it is what ails us. The secrets and lies, we don’t speak off. As adults we need to share our challenges, especially with kids.

“Tell them real people fall down and get up. This is how they get up. Depression doesn’t discriminate and knows no boundaries,” Williams told the Florida Courier.

Dysfunctional family
Violence was a way of life for DaShaun “Jiwe” Morris, a member of the Bloods. He was “jumped in’’ or initiated into the gang at age 11. His mother was on crack and he had no father; it was natural for Morris to look for acceptance, love and security elsewhere.

“Of course I was scared and I had no feeling of security,” Morris told the Florida Courier. “Always looking for something. Chasing that certain acceptance. Adults can be put in these same situations. Apply that same type of pressure to a child.

“People are going in and out of jail. Where I was from, everyone was going through this. That in itself, breeds a form of depression.”

‘Shut out’
One day after getting out of jail himself, Morris picked up a magazine and read one of Williams’ columns. Morris reached out to Williams via e-mail and she eventually helped him to get therapy.

“There are whole communities that are walking time bombs. Everyone’s walking around with his or her game face on. They will snap if you look at them wrong. Hurt people will hurt people. Nobody does things like that who is well-adjusted and has somewhere to go with their pain and someone to talk to,” Williams explained.

“For nine months, I had this crippling anxiety. “I said, ‘Something is wrong, not wanting to face the world, sleeping all the time, no concentration, lost all joy.’ It was my friends who came to rescue me. I went to the psychiatrist who said I had clinical depression. I felt a sigh of relief. This thing has a name and it is treatable.”

When to get help
Psychiatric nurse Elizabeth Beasley says if feelings of sadness, anger and depression do not pass, it’s time to get help.

“When someone is depressed, it is not necessary their fault. The brain is getting mixed signals and it has to be balanced. If the balance is there, the depression is temporary and it changes back to normal. There is a thin line between the brain and the (rest of the) body. You have to find a way to get it out.

“Once you hold it in, it transfers into non-appropriate behavior and physical ailments. A therapist will make you tell yourself what you need to know. They help bring it out and let you decide the right approach. They will help you participate in the process instead of telling you what you feel.”

Medication, vitamins
For some, medication can help restore the balance, but it can be a temporary fix. “Some psychiatrists are using vitamins instead of psychotropic drugs, mainly the B vitamin because it soothes the nerves and puts you in better mood,” Beasley says.

Williams tried two or three medications before finding one that worked, and now has changed her diet and exercises to relieve stress.

“Dealing with depression isn’t about escaping the feelings. It’s about managing them—through talk therapy, medication, exercise, a closer relationship with God,” she said. “We each have to find our own path to wholeness. Above all, we have to share where we are on the journey, because revelation leads to recovery.”

Beasley suggests group therapy as an inexpensive outlet for talk therapy. Williams launched the Stay Strong Campaign and the web site HealingStartswithUs. net to provide a support network to encourage open dialogue about emotional stress.

Gordon Jackson and Tuala Williams of the Dallas Examiner (NNPA) contributed to this report.